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Thursday, 28 October 2010

ADVICE NEEDED ON MARRIDGE & CONCEIVING

This is a very personal post don't read it unless you feel totally comfortable i don't want to offend or hurt anyone.
My and my fiance Kier have been together 7 years gone 28th September, we've been engaged 6 years Christmas day 2011, I'd get married tomorrow if i could but of course like most men Kier's dragging his feet and thinks we don't need to get married well at least more a good few years, i truly believe he will marry me someday, i think he's scared things will change in our relationship even though nothing would change unless it did for the better, We've both talked about having baby's and he does seem ready and willing plus he'd make a fantastic father he's so good with children and i know id also be a fantastic mother i basically brought my brother and sister up when i was 13 so i know I'm very maternal. i think he was put of by marriage when after 36 years his mam & dad went through a rough divorce which affected him the most out of his 4 brothers & sisters plus his mother then moved to a different town so we don't get to see her that much & he was really close to her but we do sometimes go and stay for a few days at a time plus we always enjoy staying there and have such a laugh, but we both miss our king size leather bed lol
anyway in July 2009 i had a miscarriage but didn't even now i was pregnant as i was only 4 weeks but it still affected us both badly.
anyway does it sound to you guy's he's dragging his feet on this? or should i just give him more time?

my reason's for wanting to get married?
he's the love of my life my rock, best friend & lover all in one i couldn't survive without him.
he's a real gent, very loving and caring,
we have loads in common its unreal the amount we have i common,
id  be so proud to become kiers wife,
we'd have the same surname,
if we have children we'd all have the name which id love,
i Love spending 24/7 with him so does he,
id feel more secure being his wife.
starting a family with 1 or 2 children,
we are truly made for each other like soul mates were so perfect together always have been,
then there's the added bonus of a wedding ring oh and the romantic beach wedding we've always said that's how we'd want to get married,plus theres many more reasons.

If you have any advice please leave me comment let me know what you think? will he ever marry me?
also any help on conceiving would be fantastic. please let me know if you have and tips or any help at all id be so grateful to here from guy's.

BYE 4 now peeps goodnight sweet dreams.

4 comments:

sanstorm said...

you know If he loves you and his loyal to you that's marriage just without the slip of paper. If I were you I would be happy with living together the way you are. If he's not faithful to you now, a ring and a piece of paper is not going to make him faithful. why don't you ask him if he would like to have a mach wedding. were you make promises to each other and exchange rings without a minister or any one else.

Anonymous said...

He is comfortable the way he is now, so he will not marry you untill somethin gdramatic will pop out or fear on his way to loose you. if you just enjoy life with him, just live as it it.. who care about last names...

Cara - British Street Fashion said...

Thanks for the comments it was great advice from you both so thankyou, and yes your right a piece of paper & a ring means nothing atleast were both happy and he doesn't cheat he knows id cut his balls off.

cara x

Lindsey said...

My parents went through a divorce when I was 10 and my brother was 8. I married pretty young (19) and then was divorced after 3 years.

When my current husband and I were discussing the potential to get married, my parents divorce and my past divorce came up as sore spots but we talked through it.

I don't know you and I don't know your boyfriend, so I can't say what his hesitation is or if it is feet dragging. The absolutely best thing you could do is have a serious conversation with him about it, free of pressure or judgment. When my parents were divorced, I felt like I was a failure and then you read the statistics about divorces and how the children will usually get divorced... it makes you feel hopeless. Don't make him feel more hopeless by cornering him. Make him feel loved and important and needed. Talk about why he doesn't get married and express why you honestly do. That should be enough for him.

You can also try one of those couple's "about us" quiz books. They work really well to open up conversations.